Lament

A submission for IronAge Media's prompt "The Infestation."

Brad was excited. Had been excited that is. That was until now. Brad was a lead star in a film trying to revitalize a type of movies called “80’s movies” from three hundred years ago. It was an action/sci fi thriller, where a man, Davin Smith, gets stranded on an alien planet. In the movie, Brad has to travers the swampy planet in search of a way off, while defending himself from the indigenous alien lifeforms.

He had been excited till he saw the poster. Then the last frail threads of his enthusiasm were gone. His expression . . . He was so embarrassed. All his friends and family said they were going to watch this . . . Only his second movie. . . His career was doomed. . . Not only was his expression on the poster a complete disaster, but the movie itself was. The special effects, called that only as a formality, were all puppets and sets, nothing digital. The sets, poorly done, were supposed to look like those so called “80’s movies.” The lines were the stupidest things you ever head. No way anything could have been that bad, even three hundred years ago. And the acting was terrible, on purpose. It was supposed to be intentional, of course, but some didn’t have to pretend to be horrible; they just were.

The whole thing had been a complete joke. His diminishing hope had been for at least a good poster. Now that Brad didn’t have that, he would have to endure half a year till the movie came out. Then he would have to endure all the ridicule and scorn.

Editor’s note

At the release of “Planet Death” many were shocked to find they loved the movie. Just for all the wrong reasons. The movie was a huge success and other directors and companies started to emulate “Planet Death.” Brad was starred in many of them. He consoles himself saying, “I did a good job acting terribly, that’s why they want me.”

“Call me Plisskin,”
God bless